Which Sex Toy Firmness is best for you?
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Having Trouble Deciding Which Firmness Fits Your Needs?
Choosing the right silicone firmness can feel a little overwhelming, especially when every body, preference, and play style is different. The good news? There’s no wrong choice, just the one that feels best for you. This guide breaks down what firmness really means, how it affects durability and comfort, and which options our customers tend to love most.
What Does Firmness Mean?
Firmness refers to the platinum silicone's "Shore" number, or how much the silicone compresses when pressure is applied. The standard across most silicone fantasy dildo brands is
- Soft 00-30
- Medium 00-50
- Firm 10A
Breaking Down the Firmness Levels
Soft Silicone
Soft silicone is stretchier and more flexible, offering a plush, body‑conforming feel. Because it compresses easily, it’s more forgiving and even described as more “fleshy.”
Pros:
- More comfortable for larger size toys
- Easier to ease into larger sizes
- Less prominent ridges and smoother edges for ribbed toys
- Less resistance when penetrating Stokers or Sleeves
- Easier to stretch for Cock Rings
Cons:
- Slightly more fragile in thin areas like grinder straps
- Slightly tackier than firmer silicone
- More prone to sticking to loose hair
Medium Silicone
Medium firmness is a balance between flexibility and structure. It has noticeable give, but still holds its shape well during use.
Pros:
Cons:
- Can give too much resistance when you need some flex or stretch
Think of medium as the middle ground, versatile, but not extreme in either direction.
Firm Silicone
Firm silicone is sturdy, resilient, and maintains its shape. This firmness delivers direct pressure and precision while giving a confident control.
Pros:
- Holds it's shape and rigidity even in the smallest sizes
- Ideal for targeted stimulation, like in G-Spot toys
- Strong and resistant for bondage and butt plugs with minimal chance of tearing
Cons:
- Can feel rock hard in larger sizes
- Can cause discomfort
Firm is very similar to dildos you may find in local sex shops.
Firmness Preferences by Size
Size and Intent Matter. For each product we have a different recommendation, sometimes mandatory, firmness.
At Twisted Fantasies, we follow a simple general guideline:
The larger the toy, the softer the silicone.
Why? Larger toys benefit from extra flexibility for comfort and safety, while smaller toys can stay firm without becoming too "floppy".
While everyone’s preferences are different, here’s some example of what size to firmness usually looks like:
- Smaller, beginner‑friendly toys (like our Novus) are often enjoyed in Firm Shore 10A
- Standard‑sized toys (like our Peach Pie) are typically enjoyed in Medium 00‑50
- Larger toys (like our XL Dakken) are most often enjoyed in Soft 00‑30
These aren’t set in stone rules, just helpful opinions based on real customer feedback.
Firmness Preferences by Product Type
Over time, we’ve noticed some clear trends across different product styles:
- Sex Grinders: Most customers prefer Soft 00‑30 or Medium 00‑50
- Strokers: Most customers prefer Extra Soft 00‑20 for maximum comfort and squeeze
- Cock Rings: Most customers prefer Soft 00‑30
- Packers: Most Customers prefer Medium 00‑50 for a realistic firmness
While other products are only available in their designated firmness:
- Butt Plugs: Only available in Firm Shore 10A for structure and control
- Handcuffs: Only available in Firm Shore 10A to prevent tearing, breaking free, or sticking to your arm hair
- Spankers: Only available in Extra Firm Shore 40A to get a good sting
Want to Try Before You Commit?
If you’d like to experience different firmness levels before making a purchase, we offer a Firmness Sample Kit so you can feel the difference firsthand.
It’s a great option if you’re customizing a toy or ordering something new and want total confidence in your choice.
Final Thoughts
Firmness isn’t just a technical detail, it’s a key part of comfort, confidence, and enjoyment. Whether you like it soft and squishy or firm and unyielding, the best choice is always the one that feels right for your body and your fantasies.
Still have questions? We’re always happy to help you find your perfect match!